To Be Or Not To Be...

The year 2000 was the year when all hell would break loose. The Y2K bug would create a grand computer glitch and all computerized systems would come to a halt. Even non-digital documentation was to be affected. The world as we know it would never be the same again.  Since we have become so dependent on this form of technology, the impact would have been severe, hampering global production and trade.

Surprise, Surprise

However, for me, it was the time of a major discovery only I did not know it then.  I was only 21 years old. I began experiencing the secretion of milk even though I was not pregnant and had never been pregnant. I made a visit to my gynecologist who recommended that a blood test be done immediately.  He needed to analyse the level of prolactin in my blood. The results indicated a level of abnormality.  Parlodel was prescribed for this condition.  The drug made me very nauseous so I didn’t bother to follow through with the treatment.  I was naïve!

A few years later, having garnered some experience working in the pharmaceutical industry, I became familiar with drugs, their generic names, indications, etc.  I would sometimes research a drug at random, particularly if I had used it before or knew someone who did.  I decided to do my research of Parlodel on the internet.  The discovery caused me to sit motionless for a long time, starring at the bare walls that surrounded my desk, totally unaware of anyone who might be observing me. It meant I was infertile! I thought ‘this is impossible’.  How could this happen to me?

Granted, I thought then that I was unprepared to bring a life into this world but the fact that I couldn’t even if I wanted to, mortified me.  Briefly after this discovery however, I went about my usual way of life without thinking about what I realized.  “I was young, I still had time’.  This too shall pass, I murmured to myself.

 

I kept going back to other doctors only to be given the same diagnosis and the same treatment.  This time however, I became serious about becoming pregnant.  I had turned 28 and thought my biological clock was ticking so loud it was almost deafening.  With the advent of computers and the onslaught of the internet, information is literally at our fingertips.  I started researching this prolactin thing.  The discovery revealed that parlodel and cabergoline are the drugs of choice for treating infertility.  The active ingredient in these is bromocriptine which is a dopamine antagonist. Simply put, a brain chemical regulating physical and emotional processes.

Minor Operation

Prolactin decreases the level of oestrogen in females which actually prevents ovulation.  The good news is that I have regular periods; I only need to have this hormone reduced to a normal level then I should be on my merry way to conceiving.   Long story short, I ended doing a minor procedure at the University Hospital of the West Indies (UHWI). It was thought I had some growth of some sort but we found that it wasn’t something that would inhibit pregnancy rather it would disallow a foetus to be brought to full term should a pregnancy occur.

Prior to the UHWI minor op, I had also done an MRI at one point revealing that there was a very minor tumour on my pituitary gland, resulting in the abnormal secretion of prolactin. The medications mentioned prior were to take care of this.

Fast track to 2012, I will turn 34 in June without conceiving. Surely there are other factors influencing the story that I have not mentioned. Nonetheless, although I would like to have a child of my own, I don’t worry about it. I channel my energies into lots of other things. It bothers me though when I see women becoming pregnant by merely having a man looks at them it would seem. Yet these same women turn around and abuse the precious gifts they have been given. Similarly, women who keep having football fields of children knowing they will not be able to adequately provide for them. I guess the intention is to use them in their quest for economic survival.

Purpose

I know that, according to Romans 8:28, “all things work together for good for they that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose”. I now know with all my heart that my entire life is about God’s purpose. He knew everything about me before my parents even thought of conceiving me. I trust God completely - my life is entirely in His hands.  As He told Jeremiah, so is He telling me, the plans He has for me are plans to prosper me and to give me hope and a future. If I can judge by the present, my future certainly is blinding with the brightness of the Lord’s promises.